Grief Library

As a parent you always think as long as you're a good mother and father everything will be all right. You always hear of tragedies and you say to yourself, thank God my kids are alive and you go about your day and everyday thinking it will never happen to me, we're good parents, kids are really good. We couldn't of asked for anything more.

I can still remember Christmas break of 2002. Our kids were so excited about Christmas. Especially Melanie, she loved going shopping and then wrapping the presents. I remembered we played a lot of cards on Christmas break and talked and laughed. And one night somehow we got on the subject of death and dying. Melanie said she's never going to be old. That she was going to be young forever. Of course I laughed and said we all would like to be young forever but unfortunately we all get older. And then she said she was afraid to die. I looked at her and said, Melanie everyone's afraid to die, but when it's our turn we will know it. So Christmas break was over and it was back to school. Christopher finally got to drive by himself with others in his vehicle. Of course Melanie didn't want to ride the bus. So I told Christopher he could take Melanie and Jeremiah to school. So he did Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night they asked if they could take my car Wednesday, but I said no because I had some things to do that day.

I still remember January 8, 2003. My husband called and said that someone called and told him that the kids had been in a wreck. He said he thought maybe it was just a fender bender. So I got dressed so I could go down to see if they were all right. I remember praying to God. Please let my children be all right. When I got to the end of our road to crossover, I saw a man with his vehicle blocking the road. I knew then it was bad. So he let me through and I drove down the road and I saw the truck and my husband came up to me and said that they didn't think Melanie was going to make it. I knew she was gone. My only little girl was gone. She was only 14 years old. Christopher wasn't hurt, but our nephew Jeremiah was hurt pretty bad. I remember going to the hospital to see our son. He didn't know that she was gone. Melanie was like everyone's best friend, you could always talk to her and she would listen, we will never understand why she had to go. They were just on the way to school and hit black ice. Melanie died instantly.

I myself will never understand and I ask God everyday why? I remember being so mad at God. What did I do so wrong, why us, why Melanie, a beautiful young girl whose heart was as big as the world. She could always turn a frown upside down and light up a room when she walked in. Why God, why? We will never have the answers, and even if we did, they wouldn't be good enough for us. So I live each day for her, her two brothers, and my husband. I take it one day at a time. I know Christopher and Seth miss her so much and I can see they hurt too. So we try to include her in things that we do. We remember her and things that she has done and we laugh and sometimes cry. But we will always have her in our hearts. I learn through all of this, no matter who you are, anything can happen.

I'm writing my story to let you know that life is short. So cherish every day that you have and spend it with the ones you love, because we are not promised tomorrow so live each day as if it were your last. Always remember the one's you love. We will always remember Melanie, she loved balloons, so our way of including her on the holidays is we go to her resting place and play some songs, write our messages on the balloons, and then we release them. This is our way of including her. We will always remember, that we are thankful to have had her in our lives for the short time she was here. We will always grieve for Melanie this beautiful young girl who touched our lives. We miss her everyday. Through all this we try to be strong, and some of us seem strong on the outside, but I know on the inside it is tearing them apart. Always remember the one's you love and please don't take it for granted. Life is short…. As we found out on January 8, 2003. This day will always be on our minds and we will never have answers for why Melanie had to die. Melanie will always be our little girl, no matter how much time goes by. She is still our daughter and for that we will always be thankful.